Bach's Birthday Party

I guess I just don't have a title for this post cause the weekend Masterclass was really great. You know that little feeling you get when you walk into a place and feel like you just only wish you could be there, but you're not really qualified to be there? That's how I feel about Emmanuel Church. I don't know if it's the Cantata-Every-Sunday thing or what, but I feel like it's a little piece of Baroque Heaven here in Boston. Plus, it's right across the street from a Burberry Store and down the street from a Chanel Store. How can this possibly be bad? Newbury Street is a mecca of fashion fabulousity. My teacher notified me that I was indeed to sing FIRST in the class. Whoa.

So, I waltzed in there at 1:30 pm, feeling a tad on the queasy side. I had been feeling a little funny in the tummy for about two weeks. I don't know what the deal is, but it's really been bothering me a lot. BUT, I pulled through and managed to get it up for this class. If I was going to meet John Harbison, I was NOT going to be sick for it.

A side note: The thing about Bach that always manages to surprise me, no matter HOW MANY ARIAS I LEARN is that it sounds easy when you listen to a very good performance of it. But when YOU start to learn the aria, it becomes an incredible challenge no matter HOW EASY THE NOTES ARE. The aria in question is the Soprano Aria from BWV 1 "Wie Schon Leuchtet der Morgenstern". This Cantata was written in 1725 for the Feast of the Annunciation. The aria is about Mary's elation about the conception of Christ, the Son of God. Rather erotic in the text (in a 16th century kind of way) and coupled with the Oboe di Caccia (or English Horn), it is a joyful aria, in B-flat Major, when the entire remainder of the Cantata is in F major. F major is the home key for English Horn and Horn (brass), so I suspect this is the reason for the key, rather than Affekt. But, I can't be sure (any Bach Scholars reading this entry feel free to chime in. I am not a Bach Scholar by any means). Anyway, the aria is HARD. It sounds easy and even looks non-threatening on the page, but is decievingly difficult. There's nowhere to take a decent breath and the line is everywhere, up down, all around.

My first sing through for Maestro Harbison was decent (in my eyes), but not fabulous. Nerves and being sick did not help me. In a Masterclass, you can expect to perform your piece many times. Mr. Harbison quizzed me a little about the background of the aria and the bible (which, I confess I have not read. It's a shame for a Bach performer). We talked about how difficult it is to breathe during this aria. So, I performed the aria again. I ran out of breath in the middle of the first melisma, so I took a breath in the middle of it. After my performance this breath was the subject of much praise! Apparently, this was a very good choice and a very non-inturruptive place to breathe. It was talked about for about 10 minutes, which was a little akward because after a while, I had forgotten where exactly I had taken this breath. However, after my second performance and a few more disscussions, it was over and I relaxed through the next two and a half hours of Bach-fabulousness. I guess I was shocked. He said I had good instinct for the rep and good style. Yay! Here's to my road of Bach Specialist-ness.

So, who knows what will happen now. I guess I'll talk to my teacher and see if this opens up any opportunities or not. I really enjoyed performing there and would just love to be able to do more there. I wonder what my next adventure will be.

(also posted to livejournal)

Painful Piano and Bach Birthday Bash

When I was younger (much younger, like 10) I learned piano under a Suzuki piano instructor who I loved and respected. Now that I'm working out there in the real world, I now realize how much that method of learning has handicapped me and I am very saddened by it. I have always had a very good memory for music and upon hearing a piece, I could most likely figure it out before actually seeing sheet music. Most musicians have this talent naturally or have developed this skill, but I found myself depending on it. I never was taught to sight-read and now that I'm considering teaching, I'm finding it to be very crippling. So, I have decided to re-start my keyboard education on my own because I cannot afford to pay for another private teacher at this time (damn economy).

The first thing I discovered was that, scales were very difficult to re-learn. Even the simple C major scale started to give me trouble when played for two octaves ascending and then descending. The second thing I discovered is that, looking at the keys while you play is a very bad habit that HAS to be broken. It's hard to get a grasp of just where to put your fingers down on the keyboard, but I assume the learning curve will be similar to learning to type on a keyboard...eventually, you just learn where all the keys are and you just type.

I also discovered how difficult Hanon exercises actually are. Even the first one.

Lastly, my sight-reading is non-existent of course. Learning to actually do it, is VERY frustrating and I suppose, needs to be practiced. It's frustrating, because it's going to take months, even years to get to the level that I want to be at. Right now, I can probably comfortably sight-read at level 2. Level 2 is pretty simple, so I'm hoping to move up eventually to level 3 by summer. It's just mentally challenging and makes me feel retarded, Here I am, Master's Degree, professional level soprano and my piano skills are pathetic. It's mortifying, but I guess I'm at least making progress.

The 21st is Bach's Birthday!! My wonderful, wonderful voice teacher has arranged for me to sing a Masterclass at Emmanuel Church. The masterclass will feature Bach chamber works and arias from cantatas. So, I am performing "Erfullet der Himmlichen gottlichen Flammen" (BWV 1) with the amazing oboist Peggy Pearson and Michael Beattie at the organ. I am more than a tad bit freaked out about this. I went to Emmanuel randomly when I first came to Boston and was shocked and amazed when I encountered a full Bach Cantata during the service. Having grown up as a John Eliot Gardiner and Philip Herreweghe diciple, I was FLOORED by what I saw and heard. I decided that I was most certainly in the right city. For a time, Emmanuel music has had a sort of amazing alien-like, godly place in my world. I was fortunate enough to sing in Back Bay Chorale when Emmanuel Music was hired to play during our St. Matthew Passion. I just considered myself so fortunate to sing in the chorus with such fabulosity in the orchestra...now it's all different. Now, I'm right up in there with the fabulosity and I'm totally intimidated. The added pressure of this being a sort of "alternative audition" for choral sublisting, doesn't help me either. I have a rehearsal with Peggy tomorrow, so I'm hoping that goes well. I had asked an additional oboist to play as well, but now cannot locate him. Frustration!

Anyway, on the bright side, I finally have a reason to wear my Bach Seal necklace. YES. I'm also making Bach Seal cookies for the occasion :)

In other news, I was thrilled to get my brochure for the Amhearst Early Music Festival in the mail the other day. Yay! I was wondering if the ecomony was going to effect the ability to run the program this year, but it seems they are doing well and they are keeping the tuition the same as in 2008! This is wonderful to hear! I definitely plan on auditioning for the program this year!

(also posted to LiveJournal)

Officially in the Mafia Now

I was thrilled this fall to be accepted as a member of Cantata Singers. They are a really fantastic group of people with a brilliant musician at the helm. I was lucky enough to join the ensemble during its' Benjamin Britten season and I'm so thrilled to perform so much brilliant Britten music! We had a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful concert Friday night. My personal highlight was tenor Michael Slattery's performance of the Serenade for Horn and Tenor. What a voice! Delicious and golden! The choir (us) wasn't too bad either :)

After I got home, I noticed my results letter from Handel and Haydn was there. I auditioned last Saturday and I was so scared to open it. BUT, it was a yes! I am officially a H&H soprano sub! So, things are looking good so far for my return to singing :) I don't get every audition, but the H&H audition was kind of a standard setting audition for me. I may never get called, but who cares? They didn't like me at Boston Baroque, but there's always next season. Yay, for a good weekend!

Complaining about Gigs

I'm seeing a lot of annoying facebook updates these days: "Ugh, another messiah." "Ugh, so much Christmas music." "Ugh, I've had to sing Rejoice Greatly, like a million times this week."

For those of you complaining about what a pain in the ass it is to do paid Holiday gigs, KILL YOURSELF (not really, but you know what I mean). I know this is bitchy and I'm sorry if I upset or offend anyone but are you aware of a couple of things?

1. We are officially in a RECESSION. This means, you are lucky as fuck to get a paid gig at ALL.
2. You are getting paid TO SING. Isn't that what you went to conservatory for? I'm supposed to feel sorry for you cause someone is going to give you money to sing some Handel? FUCK YOU.

There are tons of singers out there with NO gigs. There are tons of singers out there who don't even get auditions. There are a ton of singers out there that would give their right arm to do what you are doing. So, I repeat, if you are complaining about your PAID holiday gig: FUCK YOU.

Not a sermon, just a thought.

Dealing with very high expectations and dissapointments...film at Eleven

I suppose, being a slight out of practice, I'm still developing a thick skin that comes with being a soprano. Having recently joined one of the best choir/ensembles in the Boston area, I am honored to be asked to sing in the chamber ensemble concert - even if it's just a couple of duets. I had my first rehearsal with my duet partner and our coach who is a wonderful lady and a really terrific musician. But I'm vocally a little messed up still and sometimes, it shows. It's really embarrassing and I felt slightly picked on. I know it was probably mostly my insecurities and that maybe I'm actually a good singer, but I felt pretty vulnerable and after the rehearsal, I felt terrible. I hate when that happens. How do I get over feeling like a complete loser at this morning's rehearsal? I'm going to start the morning right, take a nice long shower and use my neti pot and warm up effectively and try to work out some register changes. At least, I'll have a chance to try out this rep tomorrow morning and actually get a little money for it too.

I had two opera auditions recently where I sang well, but wasn't offered a callback or a role. How many times am I going to have to do this? It seemed at my last audition that I sang really well and everyone seemed impressed, but...nothing. *sigh* Depressing. I guess that's the end of my rant.

I have to move on to the next challenge which is an early music audition. I'll have a little more confidence in this one.

I've been slacking

Wow, I have a coaching this morning and I totally didn't practice any of my arias. I haven't touched Zerbi in a week and I didn't have a lesson this week, so I just kind of slacked. Plus, I have been not practicing my keyboarding skills at all. I'm a bad, bad soprano. I gotta get back on that horse...

Anime for Halloween...Elfen Lied: The Anime, not the poem

I usually don't go for this type of anime. Here is a trailer:



This looks very bloody and as a matter of fact, it IS, which is why I was surprised I enjoyed this series so much. A young, HOT Diclonious (a mutant human with invisible "arms" that can slice and dismember) escapes from a holding facility and goes on a killing rampage. The woman kills 24 or so people in the first 7 and a half minutes of the first episode in a "Saving Private Ryan" kind of way. People getting torn in half, decapitated, arms torn off, you name it...Lucy did it and with seemingly no remorse or hesitation. When security tries to shoot her on her way out, the bullet hits her helmet, knocks her unconscious and causes a sort of split personality disorder. When she emerges upon cousins Kouta and Yuka, she is completely helpless, innocent and cannot say anything other than; "Nyuu!" which is what they call her. For some reason, they take her in (instead of calling the police) and take care of her. Nyuu occasionally reverts to "Lucy" the psychotic killer when her body is stressed or there is violence. That's your basic plot without giving too much away.

I became so intrigued by this story that I watched it in almost one sitting. I decided to purchase the DVDs as well and have since watched the series through a second time. First of all, this is a very sad story...a tragedy in every sense of the word. There is a lot of criticism of the characters in Elfen Lied and I think a lot of that criticism is justified. Cousins Kouta and Yuka don't seem to be real people and don't really make "real" decisions. Who takes a naked girl they found on the beach who can't talk into their home? Why don't they ask about the horns growing out of their head? Isn't it a little fucked up that some police are looking for her and that a solider is trying to kill her? The normal human reactions and rationality aren't there.

But with normal rationality, Elfen Lied would not work so well. The story would be over before it began. The character behavior in the story reminds me of David Lynch movies like "Mulholland Drive" and "Blue Velvet" where there just is something "not quite right" about the character personality. None of the characters are very well developed and I think part of that is the limited amount of episodes allowed to fit the story. This series is 13 episodes and I think would have been better fit in 26 episodes. 13 episodes is simply not enough time to develop characters.

***Some Spoilers follow. If you have not watched the series and want to be surprised about some plot points, stop reading this entry here.***

Aside...the story is what pulls you in if you can set aside your feelings about the absurdity of the characters. It seemed to be that Elfen Lied is a story about the very ugly side of humanity. While Lucy seems to be doing a lot of the heartless killing...what has been done to her is equally psychologically violent and cruel. Lucy seems to be the oldest living Diclonious, so since her discovery and capture, none of the other Diclonious babies that were born have been allowed to stay with their parents. Some are taken in to the holding facility for testing, most are killed after birth. The people were so afraid of this "different" race and spooked by the actions of one individual, that they wanted to control all of the others. Who knows what would have happened if the Diclonious girls were allowed to live and be loved and cared for by their parents? Lucy is clearly disturbed...but so are some people. There's no way of knowing who is and who isn't going to be crazy from birth. Poor Mariko had never even seen the outside world and never been allowed to come in contact with anyone since birth. It's no surrpise she was completely insane.

Even though Nana was the "nicest" Diclonious, I think she was actually the strongest because she kept her composure despite being detained from birth and she allowed herself to feel loved. Who's to say that if given a chance to live, most Diclonious girls wouldn't be like Nana?

I still have a few questions that really didn't get answered...Why would young Kouta lie to Lucy about his cousin being a girl? It didn't seem conistent with the young Kouta we saw. Lucy is clearly disturbed, and Mayu is the luckiest little girl in the world not to be killed by Lucy. Maybe somewhere in her little mind, Lucy still actually has it in her mind not to kill "friends" which seems to me, the only reason she did not kill Mayu or Yuka. She knocked them both out of the way instead of actually killing them when she had the opportunity.

I was very surprised by episode 5 which dealt with Mayu and her unfortunate molestation by her stepfather. I was very disappointed this was the only part of the story which dealt with Mayu. This is quite the revelation but she seems to be miraculously resilient which didn't seem satisfying to me. This little girl had gone through quite an ordeal and I was disappointed, they didn't address her story more.

All of that aside, no story writing is perfect and in general, I was enthralled by the series. I have never been so sucked in by a series since Card Captor Sakura and once I started, I couldn't stop. Even though Lucy is a psychotic killer, you feel sympathetic to her. You like her character when she's Nyuu and you feel sad for her when she's Lucy. I think it takes clever writing to make a killer a likable character.

The opening animation is outstanding. The song from the above video trailer is the opening theme and an overall melodic motif for the story (This song, Lillium, plays in a very important music box in the story). It's a sad song, beautifully sung (even though, the latin is sung with sort of asian-esque vowels which, I suppose if you're not a singer, won't bother you). The artistic style is a nod to the artist Gustav Klimt:























I thought that was pretty neat. That said, this series is for mature audiences due to the amount of violence and seemingly gratuitous nudity. Very little of the nudity is in any sexual context, but just a warning nonetheless. If you watch this series, you're probably better off watching the japanese with English subtitles, but the English dub is okay. Definitely worth the rent if this intrigues you. Don't watch before bed.